Jessica Alba Ticketed

Why are we so amused by the sight of a celebrity returning to her vehicle and finding a little gift from Beverly Hills Parking Enforcement tucked under her windshield wiper? Unfortunately, any petty thrill (and oh yes, we are petty) we temporarily derive from believing that Fate has delivered a karmic paper-cut to a flawlessly manicured finger is incredibly fleeting, supplanted by the certainty that the poor meter maid who dared deliver the slightest disappointment to one of our anointed was later crushed by a runaway Hummer for her careless insolence.